READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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