sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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