I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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