This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize