We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize