I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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