and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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