You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize