The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
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Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
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Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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