I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize