I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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