I feel great
I just peed on a car
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
my liver is dry heaving
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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