so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
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