There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize