I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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