How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
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