I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
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Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
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But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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