yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
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She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
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It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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