i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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