waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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