called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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