put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
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