I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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