I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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