is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
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