I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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