I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize