The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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