umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize