Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize