My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Oh god it's open bar.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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