so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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