my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize