Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I can't turn off my feet"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize