party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
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