I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
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I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
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Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
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