Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
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Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
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My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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