i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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