What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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