I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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