take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
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