I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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