I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
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I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
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I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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