i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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