These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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