One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize