Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize