covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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