So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
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We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
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Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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