glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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